Parents are unaware of the psychological, emotional and mental affects observing abuse will have on their children.

Start children off on the way they should go,
and even when they are old they will not turn from it.  Proverbs 22:6

Children’s first experience of forming relationships are observing that of their care-giver.  Studies have found that a child’s reaction to the facial expressions of their mother significantly impacted the level of a child’s emotions.  Therefore if the mother is sad the child reacts on this negative expression and this expression now becomes a way of reacting/responding.  Noting this simple reactions are indicators professionals use to assess the emotional well-being of babies and young children unable to speak.

Parents are responsible for a child’s environment and its in this arena they are conditioned to process their emotions albeit negative or positive ones into adulthood.  Experiencing or inflicting DA will be the training ground in which children will learn either to be submissive, dismissive or aggressive when faced with an abusive situation.

How are your children starting off in life?



Who first thought that submission equals access to inflicting abuse?  Women in the church believe that submission gives licence for their husbands to have free reign to harm, emotionally, financially, mentally and physically.  While husbands too, believe they have that liberty to exercise it.  Now this is where examining this myth may be a challenge.

Ephesians 5:22-24 is one of the scriptures women have been yielding to and repelling from.

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior.  as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

Underlined above is at times all that is seen, heard and practiced by the congregation, culture and critics.

Now, Paul’s letters to the Ephesians provides a harmonious balance to the strong Pagan women converting to Christianity. Women in this era were generally treated little more than slaves in religious settings, however the women of Ephesus held different views.  It is here Paul drew on this parallel of the church submitting to Christ everything, this scripture is not a representation to mis-use power but an act of reverence and order.

Husbands as the head of the wife are to submit themselves to Christ as The Head of the Church.   Again, submission was designed by Christ to strengthen lawfulness for peace and harmony to flourish in all relationships.  In addition, this promoted women from religious backgrounds to having a legitimate place in their marriage.

Likewise, the Prime Minister is the Head of Parliament and is served by MP’s submitting to his leadership.  This does not exclude MP’s from having an input in how the country is governed; they gather information for the Prime Minister to make informed decisions.  The head of the government is not licensed to exercise abuse within their position; similarly the husband in a marriage is not to mis-interpret this stance for abuse.

The Collins dictionary gives several interpretations of the word submission.

  1. – ‘Is a proposal, report, or other document that is formally sent or presented to someone, so that they can consider or decide about it.’ Here a more appropriate and rounded explanation that I believe serves the scripture legitimately.
  2. – ‘Is a state in which people can no longer do what they want to do because they have been brought under the control of someone else’. It’s this account that men may hold in justifying their abusive, ungodly and at times criminal behaviour.

I have been unable to find any scripture which encourages anyone to abuse those who they have been given the role to watch over.  Yelling, name calling, intimidation, controlling behaviour, shaming and blaming are not attributes of Christ for who we all are to submit to.

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