We are experiencing Valentine’s Day weekend, an event known for expressing one’s love to another. Love is a force not to be reckoned with as it is components are so multi-faceted. It cannot be contained or authorised, has no measurement to its frame yet breaks barriers, is not prejudice or predictable, does not manipulate but rebukes and is unable to switch on and off – sounds familiar? Fundamentally it’s free but can cost sacrifices or selflessness and its currency is not found in any trade centre or sold on the open market. In 1 Corinthians 13: 1- 13 invites us to understand what true love is and is not.
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 1 Corinthians 13:4
Scholars consistently debate is Love a feeling or a choice – while the jury is still out on this we can all agree that we have it, need it, strive on it and most importantly able give it and receive it.
For those in committed relationships this can be a time of the year where your loved one (hopefully they remember) flourishes you with flowers and gifts. Singles are poised, hoping for this recognition, or, are contented being single and then there are those who are relieved of not having to be caught up in the hype of red hearts and chocolates.
There is also another group, those who were hurt in a past relationship and see this time of year as a reminder of what they went through, what they could have had and what they have lost.
These individuals may live lives with a ‘full stop’ unable to move past the hurt and re-live this hurt by remaining emotional bound by the affects. Scars present themselves as bitterness towards others or themselves while memories re-play a ‘Ground Hog Day’ rendition of what once was.
However there is Someone who has the Power to love us unconditionally regardless if you are single, dating, married or hurting this includes the young, old, poor or rich – John 3:16 For God so loved the world…this includes you! God is really passionate about love because He is Love and if we are made in is image we too can love and be loved.
Although there are many self-help outlets on how to improve love, move on from love, be available for love, can be all good causes to explore. However without first knowing what LOVE really is, how can the pursuit of love be truly accomplished?
This quest can be the wedge between true fulfilments of love, the fantasy of love and prevent access to mental well-being. Remaining in a loveless marriage, craving the need of intimacy as a ‘serial dating machine’, lost in virtual relationships saturated in pornography, waiting for the ‘one that got away’ to return or petrified of being vulnerable are strong indicators of not knowing ‘true love’. Ask yourself do I fall in any of those categories, or can I add to the list?
Seeking love is not a fairy tale – to know ‘who’ you are is a good place to start! ‘As a man thinks’ Proverbs 23:7
- Acknowledge and be honest with where you are on loving you.
- Access talking therapies to confront and work through your past hurts or patterns.
- Activate the ‘true’ power of love you were created for in healthy and positive environments.
In last month’s blog, introduced were 3 tips to lay the foundation for building the year ahead. This month try using these tips to show love for you and remind yourself of Whose you are.
- Exercise– Have you tried being active in knowing you? What are your likes, dislikes? Use your walks to focus on what your love for you really looks like.
- Positive Relationships – tell yourself how much God loves you. Self- reflect on knowing who you are and Whose you are. This affirmation will build, restore and develop a true love of you! Romans 8:37-39
- Finances – look at your investment in you. What needs to be withdrawn from your account – attitudes, pain or negative mind sets? What have you deposited into your ‘love me’ account, with the currency of time spent on you? This can also take the shape of purchasing that scent you wanted for Christmas, dating yourself – yes you can date yourself, this will cost creativity.
Jesus values your worth that He paid the ultimate price – just for YOU! John 15:13