Desire meets a new gift

Gifts, we all love them right? Hmm maybe not.

I’m sorta on the journey to loving mine. Wait. You’re confused?

Let me rewind <— See when I say gifts I mean our internal power. God creates us with purpose and provides us with individual gifts to help meet our purpose.

In the bible [Exodus 35:35 NLT] God provided everyone with a gift – a skill if you like to help fulfil his purpose and vision. Some were skilful at craftsmanship others at design. Anyway, you get my drift.

Some of us walk this walk of life knowing what our gift is. Others know and disengage with it not really utilising it and some never really acknowledge or understand that they have a gift.

I want you to know that whatever category you fall in to – it’s okay. These things take time. With Gods help you can find the answers you seek.

See somewhat lucky for me I’ve always known my gift. Sorta had a love hate relationship with it for a long time now – more so in my childhood and adult life. I’d say during my youth I disengaged with it and pretty much ignored anything to do with it.

I bet your curious about my gift now huh? Well my gift is feeling. I’ve always known it was special. Growing up especially. Someone could tell me something – something joyous or something extremely upsetting and I could tap into that person and feel exactly what they felt.

I can know someone and listen to them talk and feel and think what they feel which then helps me to aid them in the right direction or give them advice that is fitting to their personality or sometimes allowed them to know they aren’t alone.

You see I can watch a film wether it’s a happy moment or a sad moment in the film if I engage I will feel what they are feeling like it’s my own. I’m currently sitting on a plane coming back home watching a film (the darkest minds in case you are curious) and I cried my eyes out during a sad moment.

Not because it was sad but because i could feel what the character was feeling and how hard it was for her. My cousin saw me crying loads and wants to now watch the movie I was watching but I know she won’t cry like I did because she won’t feel it like it did.

You see along side that I’ve become so compassionate, understanding and empathetic towards everyone. I feel there moments. All my work and studies have pointed towards helping those in need – what I feel is my purpose – this being the reason for my gift.

I think it’s also important to note that many people might have the same gift. We are – I feel all grouped up.

You see I have a friend of mine (big up to Kelleigh) who has the same sorta gift as me but the difference is our character nurtures our same gift differently. Kells present and uses it differently to me and that’s her own magic.

You see she will touch others that I can’t reach by being her beautiful individual self bring her own special magic to her gift. So please don’t feel like your nothing special because you have the same as everyone else. What you bring to the table is your own swag – your own magic.

Being blessed with a skill isn’t always easy or pleasant though. It’s easy for the world to abuse you. It’s easy for you to be unkind, un-nurturing and neglectful to your well-being.

Trust me been there, done that and I have still got the t-shirt around my neck – bare with me I’m still tryna take it off.

I recently have had many tests from God – many that I failed if I’m being completely honest. It’s life, we make mistakes and it’s okay.

You see God had been telling for what felt like donkies to let certain people go and I was just airing. You see because my gift allowed me to see the potential good in someone.

God kept telling me to let them go because they would hurt me but my feelings was just like no God they have good in them I can feel it. Cut a long story short I sucked it up (finally!) and let them go and now I realise that just because someone has potential good in them doesn’t make it okay for me to feel drained of my skill and more so it doesn’t mean they will live up to their potential (yes Lord, I get it now! Sorry it took so long)

I say this because if you’re out there and are anything like me. The person who takes a decade to understand what I need to be taught it’s okay – listen to God and he will show you how to use your gifts the way he intended them to be used.

Be careful with the enemy, he will bring people into your life to make you feel drained and un wanting and un willing to use your gift or skill if you prefer to call it that.

I’ll let you in on a little secret. God has for the longest been telling me to write a blog about gifts but during my journey I didn’t like mine and that’s because the world – the people in my life I have now let go of drained the goodness out my gift because they drained me and now that I understand that I know and I am preparing for God to teach me more about my gift. I’m ready for my level up. I’ve been stuck in this season but I am ready.

If you feel stuck talk to god. You’ll find your way just dont ignore his voice. He is never far away ♥️.

LE blogger-Sofia